I was riding down a biketrail this morning. It was along the canal here in Seattle. Anyhow it was foggy and unpopulated at the end I started that time of morning. It changed when I got to UW of course, and the joggers and such were out in force. It felt very collegiate. The well heeled people the autumn setting living in and around the(ir) campus. As I was riding I realized/remembered that i never got a handle on the mystique that colleges and University sub-cultures hold for me. I, as with most things, have mixed feelings. I like the thought of the academic lifestyle, the way the microcosm that is the school takes a forfront in your life (I imagine). Then again I probably wouldn't be at home there. I was recently recalling all the NPR junkies that seemed so prevalent at one point, I always found them somewhat annoying.
Where am I going with this?
If I really thought about it I would know that things are not what they seem and at best it would just be a "on the surface" situation. None the less it does have a respectability and its own inclusiveness. I can only imagine this is something grounded not just in attitudes and philosophies but also a landscape and set aside locality. It doesn't help I never got a chance to taste that part of life, some people's life that is. I still, as mentioned, have a thing for the culture. The assumed dignity of book learning, the smart and healthy people constantly being renewed. You can still see the effects in people as they are shaped into adults in that world. I think that might be the part that hurts me. I could go as far as to say the mystique of high school was as elusive to me too.
When will I ever have some idea of who I am?
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Venture Bros.

There is a risk that this post will sound whiney and complaining. Thought you should know.



I am watching a show called the Venture Bros. It is a show I enjoy and feel is well made for the most part. I enjoy the story, characters and the cultural references. It is almost a show that I'd make given the chance. Well maybe not, but certainly a show that plays to my strengths.

What concerns me is that this happened and is happening outside of any realm of anything I will ever be a part of. How is my life so vastly outside of this kind of occurrence. Not a hint or merest whiff. I am often confounded by how this is so absolute. It might be obvious to point out that one (meaning me) could take the initiative, start or seek out such thing on my own.

Like I said this is a bit whiney.

I suppose the aforementioned self initiative is what I should be spending my time and energy on. It is something that has been pushing to the front of my thoughts these days. More so than usual. Lets hope this isn't all talk. Wish me luck.
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Vanilla

I guess I understand how the term "vanilla" came to mean bland. It is simply about the color of the ice cream I imagine. This though irks me. Vanilla is really exotic despite its commonplace in out culture. I think it is taken for granted by us as a people. At the very least we are guilty of confusing mellow or subtle for weak and bland.
I can't honestly say i have recently heard anyone accusing someone or something of being vanilla, so I don't know why I am bringing this up at all. The only other thing i can offer on the subject is that i am also not a fan of artificial flavors. If ever i have a larder to stock again i intend to go for whole bean vanilla avoid the synthetic vanillan molecule. Also Vanilla ice cream is my favorite flavor, though i don't find it goes so very well with coffee. That is to say putting vanilla flavor in coffee as opposed to vanilla ice cream. Wow this is an extra lame post.
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Seems true

Corporation: n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. -Ambrose Bierce, author and editor (1842-1914)

Maybe it apples and oranges

So recently the "Large Hadron Collider" was completed, used and didn't implode the universe. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be writing this if it did. These super colliders are cool and so is physics but this is not what i am writing about. According to wikipedia the collider is 17 mile long and uses 96 tons of liquid helium to maintain the super conductor aspects of the magnets. My point is that it is long and holds a lot of structural technology that has to be put together corectly and maintained. No small feat and is said to have cost 6.4 billion dollars after overages.

Now compare this to my quasi-hometown of Boston's Big dig project. This, again according wikipedia, runs 3.5 miles and cost 14.6 billion dollars. It is already beleagured with structural problems. Predictably in my mind.

I can't think of what else to say that isn't said by the numders above.
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Mildly Frightning

I do not remember how I came across this. probably typing words into the google search engine. Regardless, I can't figure out what the joke is. If anyone can clue me in please do.

So Far

I have not followed up on what I said I would in the previous post. I have been busy settling in here in a new city. I have not had the time or opputunity to do any art work. soon I hope.

A couple things; I am frequently asked "what do you want" or 'want to do" when the looking for work topic comes around. I don't think that way. Seldom does what i want have anything to do with anything. I am sure this is honest outcome of my experiences and background. I am thinking though that it could not hurt to start operating in a different manner. I do not have an idea of what I want. I have some vague and general concepts but I cannot imagine jobs or work that would fulfill my desires. I do know it isn't at 7-11 and the like where I have been applying and have yet to secure work at. Long story short is a change in stratagie can't hurt where I am and might offer some oppurtunities that I have yet to have.

The other thing is I do need to start the angling for the non-work (strictly work for money work) aspects of my life. The people I know, how I spend my time where I hang out. Historically I spend my time at 'home" and I have always felt the distant pull of the world outside this. I know for a fact not everyone live like I do and are somehow able to be out in the world in useful and/or enjoyable ways. This too should be me. At least i should have the informed option.

Nothing I have done here has worked against this but It hasn't really worked towards it either. So.....time will tell.
I am throwing in a random picture just for something to look at. I cannot comment on it as I do not know what it is yet.
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